So…. I leave in 9 hours and I’m still not packed. Everything’s there… I promise! It just hasn’t hit me yet… that I’m leaving on a trip of a lifetime. This trip has been on my “bucket list” since forever… and the only response I can muster up when people ask me if I’m excited is… wide eyes and a mouth halfway to a smile, and halfway ready to say something… but nothing comes out because I have no words.

There are so many thoughts running through my head, it’s hard to catch one… they’re fast and I’m out of shape. But one that has allowed more contemplation is the memory of leaving for YWAM in 2007. It’s weird to think this was 3 years ago because it still feels so fresh. But remembering who I was and the significance of that particular adventure opens my heart to the wonderfully different realization of who I am now, and the significance of this new adventure I’m embarking on tonight.

Last time, I was making the decision to leave my Junior year of college–everything I knew and thought I wanted. Last time, I took a gigantic leap of faith, trusting that a small hobby of mine would develop enough for me to call myself a mission photographer by the end of it. Last time changed who I am today. It’s about a 7 hour long story… so I won’t go into it now…. but the important thing is I’m a completely different person than I was when I boarded my nonstop flight to Germany in 2007.

This time is different. This time feels like a dream…. one that I never dared to have in 2007. I never thought that hobby would develop into a passion, that would develop into another leap of faith, that would develop into my job. I never thought I would have the privilege of doing what I love as my JOB…. and I never thought I would have the opportunity to combine it with traveling. The best of both worlds have become friends and tonight I’m embarking on the first leg of this new adventure.

You guys….. I’m seriously so excited. I sincerely hope you’ll join me on this new adventure… and I hope something about this trip inspires you to dream big.

Our life-changing journey begins this evening as we board our overnight flight to Cairo, Egypt.

Here’s some shots from my last adventure that bring back many memories of some largely defining moments…

Sitting on a bench overlooking all of Herrnhut and Ruppersdorf, Germany…. the birth place of The Order of the Mustard Seed.

Some shots taken one of the first days I went exploring in Herrnhut. I was unsure, nervous, but excited all at the same time!

See you in Cairo!

It’s always been the assumption that I got the creativity gene from my Aunt Karen. (Even though technically, it would have run through my dad’s genes as well) She’s the artist….. a stinkin’ good one. Many fond memories from my childhood are the times Auntie Karen taught me how to make something cool….. like an origami jumping frog and how to hold a paint brush when I watercolored. She’s pretty  much the epitome of Creativity… and I LOVE IT!

She recently had a milestone birthday and asked me to shoot some pictures of her in this new stage of life. We laughed as she got used to having a camera in her face… and enjoyed the crispy colorful winter weather. The colors were delicious and I wanted to soak up as much of them as I could!

Here’s just a few shots from the afternoon…

In going shopping for a proper birthday gift, I came across a beautiful card with a pink glittery bird on the front. One the inside, it said simply, “You’re a rare Bird.” It was the perfect card and I couldn’t wait to give it to her! As I continued shopping, the creative gene kicked in and I decided I was going to decorate in a “Rare Bird” theme (since it’s my job at family parties to add my artistic flair to the decor)… and I found some sweet decorations. I used some old teacups, some branches and flowers from the bushes outside our house, an old jar, lots of candles, some super cute magnetic glittery birds from Papersource, string and paper hearts, and some fake daisies.

Here’s a collage of the birthday party and decor….

Be like Aunt Karen.

Be your beautiful self.

Do the things you love with all you’ve got in you.

Choose to Love…. always.

Be joyful in all circumstances.

Have the courage to jump off your branch… take risks.

You might just find that you remember how to fly.

Nowadays, There aren’t many birds who have the courage to do what they were made to do.

Be a Rare Bird.

Today I’d like to share something I wrote in May of 2008. It’s something I wrote at the start of a project I was working on in the wake of my adventures in YWAM…. a book of compiled pictures, thoughts, and prayers. The project is still in JUST the starting phase because I set it on the back burner when I began building my business that summer…. but it still tugs on my heart everyday and I wanted to share it with you.

“Yada’—to know by experience. The Hebrews used this word to describe how a man knows his wife after they consummate their marriage vows on their wedding night. Intimate. Exposed. And this kind of knowledge is only gained through experience; no amount of hypothesizing or imagination can substitute. I think out of all the many characters in the Bible, more specifically the Old Testament, Moses was the one person who had something even remotely like this kind of knowledge when it came to his relationship with God. Exodus 33 tells us “As he went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and hover at its entrance while the Lord spoke with Moses. When the people saw the cloud standing at the entrance of the tent, they would stand and bow down in front of their own tents. Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend (Ex. 33: 9-11)”. I want that. How amazing would that be to have such a relationship with God…face…to…face. I wouldn’t have to feel like these heroes of faith in the bible were products of then, and I, here in the modern context of things, am somehow too different and too insignificant to house the capacity to have such a knowledge of what God can be like. Just because Moses and David were one in a million, doesn’t mean I can’t be. Who knows…maybe they’re the only ones who had courage enough to entertain the thought that they were wired for something bigger than themselves and that this God of their ancestors was actually more real than they could comprehend.

I am, by no means, a Moses or a David. I am not even close. But I refuse to think that just because I live in America in California in Orange County in Irvine in a two story house with a car and a family and a pool that I can’t be a Moses or a David. I reject the notion that I can’t hear His voice because there are so many other things vying for my attention. I reject the notion that I can’t move with the Holy Spirit because only holy people like Pastors and monks know how to do that. And I reject the idea that I can’t be used in such a way, that centuries from now, people will refer to me as a woman who met face to face with the living God. In the name of Jesus Christ.

I recently read these words: “we all believe in God’s power to change the world through others; we just struggle to believe in His power to do it through us” (Pete Grieg, The Vow). So true. I think it’s a difficult thing to wrap our minds around because we grow up reading these amazing Bible stories about how God parts the Red sea and Jesus raises from the dead and the apostles performed miracles, and yet we don’t put two and two together that it was reality. We can learn the theology of what we believe, we can study the life and teachings of Jesus, and we can read all the books we want on the subject, but there’s something to be said about the phrase “you’d have to be there.” I do have to be there, or at least, I prefer to be there.

So, This is my journey, of sorts, learning from being “there”….and “here”, that I can be used to change the world…and from these lessons, experiencing Yada’.”

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I’m about to embark on a seriously AWESOME trip…. following the footsteps of my man Moses. On March 9th, I will be flying out of Los Angeles with a group of 50 people from Horizon Christian Fellowship, and we’ll touch down in the place where it all started… Cairo, Egypt. From there we’ll be visiting pyramids, the sphinx,  St. Catherine’s Monastery (the place rumored to have been the site of the burning bush), The Red Sea, Petra, and through the ancient land of Moab to Mt. Nebo. We’ll also be spending the 2nd part of the trip tracing the footsteps of Jesus in his last days. We’ll be visiting the Mount of Olives, Garden of Gesthemane, the house of Caiaphas, the wailing wall and the rabbinical tunnels. And the last part of our adventure will take us to Bethlehem, then the Garden Tomb, and a few other historical sites.

I find it amazingly curious how this whole trip has been orchestrated… I’m in awe of this opportunity that’s been presented… and I’m STOKED to have this chance to use what God’s given me to experience such an amazing part of the world!

This isn’t just a trip I’m going on. I want you to come with me! My job on this trip is to be the photojournalist, documenting what I see and feel and the places we experience. It’s also to keep a blog as we go so you can experience these amazing places with us! Make sure to check back here as we take off on March 9th…  and experience the Middle East in the Footsteps of this man who knew the living God… face to face.

My hope is that this trip will bolster our faith and change the way we read the scriptures…. that we might draw closer to the heart of the living God and experience Yada’.

I had a conversation with someone the other day about why I journal and blog. To put it as frankly as I can… I suffer from ever-so-frequent bouts of forgetfulness. Through the ups and downs life’s journey brings… I forget the ways God’s been good in the wonderful times… and I forget the ways God’s been ever present through the hardest of times. This morning I was re-reading some blog posts I had written in 2008 during the time when I was re-entering the United States after being a long term missionary for almost a year with YWAM. I found this post startlingly relevant right now and I just wanted to re-share it with you today… hopefully it brings you hope and spurs you on in your pursuit to find God…..

“Through tears, over the phone, Betsy said, “I’m in a rut and I don’t
know what to do.” We had been having an ongoing conversation about how
life back home is hard….not like living at the castle. It’s been
almost a month and a half since I’ve been home in the US and I’m not
gonna lie, it hasn’t been easy. Many people warned me, “People won’t
understand when you tell them about your trip”….and “life is not going
to be the same because you’re not the same person as you were.” These
were valid concerns for someone coming back into society after a long
journey in a God-seeking closed environment….but I don’t think any
number of wise words can prepare someone for “re-entry.”

Watched Prince Caspian last night and I love how they used this scene
right out of the book….they’re walking through Narnia trying to find
the path that will lead to Prince Caspian and the Narnians and Lucy
sees Aslan for a split second across the gorge. She is so excited, but
the excitement dies when he disappears before anyone else can see him.
Peter asks her “why is it you can see him and no one else can?” Her
reply just gets me…. “Maybe because you’re not looking.” Ouch. After
seeing that, I remembered Betsy and my conversations of late….and
feeling like having the same relationship with God here in the US is
about 100 times harder than having one with him in the castle or on
outreach. For some reason, being in an environment that breeds passion
and encourages blind zeal for the Almighty, life with God is easier.
He seemed to be in my life more, I seemed to hear Him better, and
others were doing the same so it wasn’t hard to find someone to have
those conversations with….and it wasn’t a strange sight to see someone
randomly pick up a guitar and worship God in the middle of the
hallway. Some days I feel like Peter asking “why is it I could see him
there and not here? Isn’t he everywhere? What am I doing wrong?”
…Maybe it’s because I’m not looking as often and as readily as I
have been and could be. Maybe it’s because I need to be more like
Lucy.

The past 7 months came and went and I still remember the turning
points in my journey like they were yesterday. I remember leaving
LAX…terrified and not wanting to leave the comfortable. I remember
arriving in Herrnhut at the castle and being so homesick and
uncomfortable, I just wanted to go right back home. I remember the
moment I felt more at home in the castle with Heinrick the cat
snuggling with me unexpectedly. I remember mini outreach in Cologne
and finding out first hand that God does hear my prayers and He
answers them too…word for word…never how I expect. And I remember
going on outreach to Thailand and coming back a different person than
when I had left. I remember this all like it was yesterday and it’s so
hard to comprehend that I did all of that and that I’m home once
again. People have asked me questions like “how was it?”… “what was
your favorite part?”…and “tell me a story.” And I’ve found that it’s
so hard trying to find an answer to those questions without unpacking
the whole ball of wax…if you get my drift. I experienced so much, saw
so much, learned so much, met so many people, I have so many stories,
and I’ve been so many places…and it’s all tied together. So finding
and giving answers in digestible portions has been a challenge for
sure….and moving to the “what next” portion of life after all of this
has been rough.

I’m still not sure what’s in the future. Prayed about it and all I got
was “wait”…which is juuuuust great. Love waiting. (total sarcasm) But
in the now, as Betsy and I and the others are slowly getting our
footing in our old world with our new hearts and minds….I feel like
Prince Caspian, this timeless C.S. Lewis book, describes life so well
right now. We’re kings and queens of old, but often we forget it.
We’re made for something more…we ache for that sense of purpose…and we
desire so much to be used for something bigger than the ordinary. The
horn has been blown and help is needed. The work is a lot and the
workers have always been too few. Living in two worlds has helped me
see what life can be….living as that queen I was created to be….and,
on the flip side, being broadsided by all the growing up and learning
and life in the real world… so much that I forget to be like
Lucy…waiting and watching always…finding God in everything and always
ready for the magic. I can’t help but think that God is here, and I’m
just missing Him because I’ve been busy looking for other things like
direction and a job and an answer. Maybe I need to stop looking and
wait for my King to come and breathe on me again….and remind me what
his beautifully terrifying face looks like yet again…you’d think
we’d never forget the face of a lion.”

Peace for Now

Kate

And for your aesthetic appetites, another sneak peek from Kory Kraning’s Personal Training Portrait Shoot…Maybe I’ll blog the whole shoot sometime soon… haha.